Trouble
by Rainbow185
Summary: 5th year: Harry and his friends deal with Hogwarts with Umbridge Will the friends be able to stop a rapidly taking over Umbridge ruling Hogwarts? Contains sarcastic angry Harry! Umbridge bashing! etc (I am terrible at summaries)
1. Umbridge's humility

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter ;(**

**This is my first serious (Sirius) fanfiction so please be nice! This is also part of one of my what if's which I got inspired to write a whole story to. It will start making sense soon so stay tuned! I added lot's of Harry's humour and sarcasm because he is actually pretty funny in the books so that inspired me. This may contain some Weasley and Hermione bashing but not too much to hate the story. May contain mild gore.**

**Tags: !Angry Sarcastic Funny Harry, Umbridge bashing, Canon, What If, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Vincent Crabbe, Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy, Millicent Bulstrode, Gryffindor Fifth Years, Blood Quill, Fred and George, Weasley, Ginny, Cho Chang, Seamus Finnigan**

* * *

"Hem hem!"

"Good morning class!"

"Good morning Professor Umbridge!" After a few weeks, they were used to the drill of chorusing back to her.

"Today we will continue studying theory but please head to the back of class!" Ron Harry and Hermione gave each other strange looks as they stood next to each other.

"We are going to change the seating plan so when I call your name you sit where I instruct you to, with no _interruptions" _She emphasised smiling sickly particularly at the Gryffindors.

" Thomas and Bulstrode"... This list went on until their were half the class still standing. Hermione and Ron were both obviously paired up with Slytherins, Hermione with Pansy and Ron with Crabbe.

"Potter and Malfoy" The two enemies look at each other in disgust as the whole class stared at them with mouth's wide open.

"But Professor-"

"No but's Draco, it's for the best"

"You better watch yourself mental patient"

"Shut up"

The only good thing about sitting next to Malfoy was that Hermione was to his right and Ron was behind him. Hermione gave him a smile with empathy written all over it and Umbridge droned on about the use of theory.

"Potter why is an example of theory?" She asked 'sweetly'.

He pretended to be deep in thought "Hmm maybe that no one likes you?" he mocked in an accurate manner and gave her a fake smile. The Gryffindor's apart from Seamus hid their laughter, even Hermione seemed hit upon. Malfoy and his cronies looked at him and scowled menacingly. Umbridge's smile was distant but she regained her posture.

Harry pumped his fist in the air as everyone continued to attempt reading this extremely boring passage. Umbridge ignored him purposely and he began waving both his hands to get her attention. Every eye turned on him like they did with Hermione a lesson ago.

With all the waving he was doing his elbow knocked the ink pot all over Malfoy's book and front. He turned his head and glared furiously at the Gryffindor.

Harry laughed while the Gryffindor's looked with amusement at the scene.

"You animal!" This only made him laugh more at how his uniform was completely drenched with ink at the front.

He raised his fist again with a second attempt and finally caught her attention.

"This git needs another quill" Pointing to Malfoy.

"Then I'm sure Mr Malfoy can ask for one himself"

"Tell me Professor are you deaf?" Once again their mouths opened with disbelief.

"What?"

"I was correct! Now if you will excuse me I'm going to actually learn something useful" He got up with lot's of mouth still hanging open to catch flies.

"50 points will be taken away for Truancy and you will be receiving longer and extra detentions for a month!" Umbridge said hurriedly in one breath.

He raised his middle finger and closed the door loudly.

Everyone looked at his retreating back wth wide eyes, Professor Umbridge smiled hidden at the thought of what to do to the brat in detention. Hermione stared at her '_this can't be good, you idiot Harry!'_

_"_Hem hem! Continue reading class!" She said as if a student just didn't truant out of class. Malfoy was still scowling at his splattered robes with disapproval.

* * *

Harry took two long strides at a time up the Grand Staircase with a library book in his hand while in deep thought.

"Mimbulus Mimbletonia" He answered before the Fat Lady could ask him what he was doing.

Harry plonked himself on one of the overstuffed chairs and began reading while practising wand flicks, why should he follow Umbridge's theory work? When will that help him in a battle outside? He flicked the page roughly with anger. before he knew it the book he was reading upwards while he layed on his back covered his face so onl his jet black messy hair was visible.

* * *

"I can't believe he just did that!" The Gryffindors chatted animatedly.

"He's brilliant he is" Ron laughed but was immediately silenced by an annoyed looking Hermione.

"Did you see the look Umbridge gave him after he left? I think I know what's she's planning"

They stumbled through the portrait and Hermione scanned for Harry and found him buried under a few books. She punched on his shoulder roughly and looked at him annoyingly.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He protested, his vivid green eyes stared at his friends.

"For being a prat!" He pouted.

Ron laughed humorously still not over the fact he just embarrassed a teacher shamelessly and just walked off.

"I think she deserved it _maybe that no one likes you?_" Ron laughed and he grinned.

"This is serious! Didn't you see the look Umbridge gave when you left? I think your detention is going to be worse!" She said worriedly while looking at the marks of _I must not tell lies_ engraved on his skin.

"That reminds me, I need to go!"


	2. Gory Detentions and Quidditch

**Tags: !Angry Sarcastic Funny Harry, Umbridge bashing, Canon, What If, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Vincent Crabbe, Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy, Millicent Bulstrode, Gryffindor Fifth Years, Blood Quill, Fred and George, Weasley, Ginny, Cho Chang, Seamus Finnigan, Hogwarts**

**Sorry about typing error it's my messes up auto correct placing wrong words in!**

* * *

Harry scampered down the halls faster then a firebolt, if he didn't run he probably would of been at least 5 minutes late. Panting heavily, he knocked on Umbridge's door and stepped into her elaborate office.

"Mr Potter," She smiled tartly "do you know that you are a minute late?" Umbridge glanced at the clock reading 8:31 and so did he.

"It's only a minute" He replied rolling his eyes in a frustrated manner.

"_Only a minute__?, y_ou should know that plenty of work can be done in a minute... sit" He looked at her and sat uncomfortably.

"For your cheek shown earlier you will have to fill this piece of parchment with no large spaces," She stood smirking evilly and placed a blood quill and a long piece of parchment in front of him.

"But Umbi- er professor, this is over 4 feet long!"

"Remember Potter, naughty boys deserve bad punishments"

"No."

"Hm?"

"I am not doing this"

WHAP! He winced terribly as the pain spread throughout his arm leaving a purplish thick blue line crossed on his arm. Where on earth did this crazy woman get a whip from? He let out a breath of agony as he closed his eyes shut, he opened them and saw Umbridge smiling down at him. He pulled the sleeves of his jumper down but Umbridge scratched his arm on purpose while pulling the sleeves back up.

"Not so fast Potter, pick up the quill and begin writing!" She urged.

"You sick person" He replied. WHIP! Another thick line crossed his pale skin. Blood oozed slowly out of the large bruise sickeningly.**_  
_**

"You know the drill, write or suffer"

"I wonder what suffering feels like" He mumbled.

"Sorry?"

"Oh nothing" He replied giving a mocking grin which he saw her used so many times. He picked up and began to write weakly.

_I must not tell lies _

1000th time: the message was going to the tissue of his skin.

_I must not tell lies _

2000th time: his own blood made him feel weak to his knees their was so much of it from that simple phrase.

_I must not tell lies _

Finally done, his hands shook in pain, the message was so deep he could see bit's of his bones through the thin tissue, blood completely covered his hands and spilt onto the table and dripped on the floor.

"Remember you detention tomorrow!"

"Oh I sure will!" He mocked her weakly. He took one last look at the time which read 2AM, he yawned then pulled down his jumper sleeves before heading out. The whip slashes throbbed painfully and the pain in his hand was so unbearable he wouldn't mind chopping his hand off (in a non painless way of course).

Impulsively, he had an urge to vomit as bile risen up in his throat at the non stop bleeding. He dashed down to the nearest bathroom which was Myrtle's. He vomited helplessly into the sink and washed it down with water. He washed out his mouth to get rid of the taste and smell, splashed his face, he washed the dried blood on his hand and wrapped tissue around it which immediately stained red. He slowly trudged up the staircase and climbed through the portrait.

In a corner he saw Hermione, Ron and Ginny trying to stay awake by reading or playing chess. They all glanced at him as he sat on the floor next to Ginny who blushed a bit probably from just losing to Ron.

* * *

"How did it go?" Hermione asked looking at him holding his hand tightly. He just shrugged. _'I guess that's a no considering how pale he is' _Hermione speculated.

"Show us" She said stubbornly.

"No"

"Why?" Ginny asked.

"Because"

"Because what?" Ron replied.

He gave in and unwrapped the tissue and they gasped at the extremely deep cut, they felt bile rise in their throat as they saw parts with bones showing but they swallowed it down. Blood quickly swirled out in linking rivers around the cut.

"We need to tell someone!"

"No!"

"But look what she did!"

"She will just make it worse"

"But-" He stood up and left to go upstairs.

* * *

Harry cleansed his wound in the 5th year boys bathroom and poured a bit of Essence of Murtlap on his arm and hand and wrapped his hand in multiple thick white bandages.

* * *

"Anyway I'm tired 'night" He said to the two who were also making their ways to their dormitory.

Ron saw Harry's curtains were closed so he just left him at peace. Ron was woken up with ice cold water splashing him in the face.

"Get up you lazy sod!" Dean grinned. Ron mumbled something about not disturbing a man's sleep and how people should get manners.

"Otherwise you will miss _breakfast_!" Typically, he quickly rolled out of bed and was dressed within five minutes. He saw Harry just exit the portrait hole with Hermione and raced to them.

"Could of waited you know!"

"We did but we couldn't be bothered to wait another half hour" Harry replied. They sat down, Harry obviously getting stared at by everyone apart from the Gryffindors, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff's who thought yesterdays comeback for Umbridge was brilliant. Hermione was reading a book quietly while Ron ate with no manners.

"Hyb eu eding gle udy bok?" Ron said between swallows of food. Hermione looked disgusted,

"Ask me again when you learn table manners"

"I asked," he started frustratingly "in plain English why are you reading a Muggle Studies book?"

"Because if you haven't noticed, it's OWL year Ron-" Ron pulled the book towards him and looked confusingly at her.

"Don't start again!" Harry snapped.

"We're not!" They replied in unison.

"Wind turbeenes?"

"Turbines" She corrected.

"They a large propeller like things in the muggle world."

"I guess your a big fan then" Harry said quietly, Hermione got the pun and smiled but Ron didn't.

"What?" They got up and headed for class.

"Potter!" Harry turned around and saw Angelina running to him.

"I heard you got more detentions, what about practise?"

"I tried, but it didn't happen"

"Well make it happen!"

"I also tried that but you know Umbridge"

"Get Professor McGonnagall to sort it out you have her next right? Otherwise I'll kick you off which would be the worse decision I have ever made in my life" She glared at him and he caught up with the two.


	3. Bribe

**Tags: !Angry Sarcastic Funny Harry, Umbridge bashing, Canon, What If, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Vincent Crabbe, Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy, Millicent Bulstrode, Gryffindor Fifth Years, Blood Quill, Fred and George, Weasley, Ginny, Cho Chang, Seamus Finnigan, Hogwarts**

**Sorry about typing error it's my messes up auto correct placing wrong words in!**

* * *

Harry yawned as the stern Professor droned on about turning dinner plates to mushrooms and it's importance. As he took plenty of notes, he started to feel a tingling sensation go through his hands, he stopped writing for a second and stretched his fingers which were squashed together by the bandages wrapped around the bottom of his fingers and his hand. Ron looked at him for a second then continued writing scruffily. Just as he was beginning to write again he felt a blow of pain like sharp knives pierce his hand painfully. He sucked a deep breath in and began writing as his hand protested to try and not get Professor McGonnagall attention. Ten minutes passed which he would of noted a paragraph but had only wrote two sentences down. _Brilliant _he thought angrily and started scribbling down messily and quicker.

Professor McGonnagall announced it was time for a practical and everyone got out their wands hurriedly. Hushed chattering filled the room quickly with mutters of passages and spells.

By the end of the lesson, Hermione was the only one out of the Gryffindor's who mastered the spell and a few Ravenclaw's did quite well also. On the other hand, Harry's dinner plate had the softness and look of a mushroom while Ron's had warts sprouting on his alarmingly.

"Bring your assignment to the front for next lesson and your homework is a foot of the importance of transfiguration in different objects"

"We'll wait for you" Hermione stated. Harry nodded and turned on his heel striding up the classroom. Professor McGonnagall sighed inwardly while marking her other classes homework and looked at Harry sternly.

"Potter you will be late for class if you don't go in a few,-"

"Professor I was wondering if you could write a note about something..."

"What is this something what you speak of Potter?"

He inhaled quickly "Quidditch tryout's and excusing me from a detention with Umbi- Umbridge"

"And why do you have another detention with Professor Umbridge?" Harry's vivid green eyes widened in surprise that Umbridge didn't go straight to his head of year after the events of yesterday he ran a hand through his black hair ungainly.

"Well- I truanted" He stated, wishing that the Professor won't ask for any more details.

"And may I ask why you truanted?" _'Wow' _

"Because I don't agree with her and can you please write a note Professor?," He urged impatiently, anger rising up at the thought of spending another whole night in detention. She looked at him for a few seconds and he put on the most innocent cute face he could. She gave in and saw the ends of her mouth lift ghostly.

"Alright then, but don't tell all your friends otherwise they will all want no detention passes" She scribbled the note down, signed her name down and gave him the note.

"Thanks professor!" He grinned.

"Your welcome and what happened to your hand?"

"Just an accident" he shrugged mindlessly, Professor McGonnagall grabbed his arm, twirled her wand ldelicately and in an instant, white bandages were being tightened with plasters and stitches holding it together.

"Thanks again!"

"Don't tell no one, otherwise I will be the next Madam Pomfrey now go before your late" She smiled lightly as he dashed out.

"It worked" He smiled crookedly at his two best friends who grinned back equally joyful.

"How did you get McGonnagall on her good end?" Ron asked impressed.

"No idea but I guess a puppy face gave her in as well" He replied giving a demonstration, Hermione touched her heart in adoration.

The trio were surprisingly on time for Care of Magical Creatures again with the Slytherins.

"Two days in a row with Slytherin's, what a bloody nightmare" Ron exclaimed eyeing them evilly.

"In fact the only day we don't see them are Thursday's" Harry agreed angrily.

Care of Magical Creatures passed by on an average time which was slowed down by Malfoy and his gang's 'lovely' comments directed towards them which they attempted to ignore.

"Righ' that be it, your homework is 'alf a foot lon' of how Bowtruckles are adapted to d'ere environ'ment"

* * *

Later on in the Common Room they were completely buried in books and homework which was waiting to be complete.

"I better go" Harry stated looking at his half completed essay and other piles of homework in disgust. Harry walked speedily down to Professor Umbridge's office actually getting used to going here every night.

"You know the drill" She said excitedly, but her sick grin faded when Harry gave her a note.

"Actually there are no drills since I am going to Quidditch Practise" He walked out and smirked as he had an mental image of Umbridge looking at the note in disgust.

* * *

The evening was foggy and chilly with skies as grey as charcoal showing that theirs a storm getting prepared soon.

"Harry you made it!" Angelina said pleased with her seeker who came in gear.

"Yes I did" He grinned, the team looked at his hand strangely. "Just an accident, I'm fine" He added at the look on their faces.

"Better not ruin your reflexes"

They done a few warm ups of passing the quaffle between each other while doing laps and throwing through the golden hoops. He caught the snitch and Angelina called practice to an end as the storm began to pelt down.

_I missed Quidditch... _


	4. Unfairness

Tags:** !Angry Anger Management Sarcastic Funny Possessed Harry, Umbridge bashing, Canon, What If, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Vincent Crabbe, Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy, Millicent Bulstrode, Gryffindor Fifth Years, Blood Quill, Fred and George, Weasley, Ginny, Cho Chang, Seamus Finnigan, Hogwarts,**

* * *

Crabbe and Goyle were dancing in tutus in front of the whole school with Malfoy conducting- he was staring at a sickly pale version of himself with blood red eyes and a sharpened knife glinting i the moonlight with a black snake carefully carved handle with parseltongue written all over it.

He raised the creepy knife slowly...threateningly...dangerously...

- Harry woke up with a small gasp like drowning in water. He was clammy and pale and his bed was tangled with his limbs. He opened his curtains around the bed and saw that he hadn't disturbed anyone... yet. Harry carefully got out of his bed, grabbed the water jug and poured himself a glass with shaky hands. What kind of dream was that?

He finished the glass and various questions still littered his mind. Where was this place? CRASH! The finished glass fell with no warning, he saw a scarlet eye staring back at him in deep thought. 'At least the glass had sound charms on it' he thought, smirking to himself. He kneeled down next to the shards of sharp glass

"Scourgify" he muttered and the glass cleared instantly.

"Maybe I'm just hallucinating"

He shrugged off and climbed back into bed with no other thought.

Harry was cleaned, dressed in his uniform and downstairs by 4 like he promised himself yesterday. Just as he moved on to his next piece of homework, someone from the girls dormitory strolled down. He moaned then grabbed his thick hair in frustration as he looked at the Astronomy equations he had never seen in his life. He look to his side and saw the long vivid hair and freckled face of Ron's sister.

"Oh hey Ginny" he greeted tiredly.

"Hi Harry, why are you up so early?" he demonstrated to the pile of books and parchment spread around him.

"Right"

"And what about-"

"I sometimes get up early" She interrupted knowing what he was going to ask, she sat down on a place without work littered she watched as he threw a book down in frustration, and brushed the hair out of his eyes while rubbing them until they were pink.

"You are going to hate next year Ginny"

"I am excited already!" They smiled and locked eyes for a few seconds, vivid greens and warm brown... Another girl came down which happened to his prompt best friend: Hermione Granger. They greeted each other and Hermione assisted him in his homework. A few hours later, a bewildered red head also accompanied them.

"Speaking of evil," Ginny started

"Shut up Ginny, your one to talk" Ron snapped grumpily as he is when he's hungry.

Ginny ignored him and turned to her supposed 'forgotten crush'-

"Anyway, how about we make your studying more interesting?"

"How, get Millicent to help me?"

"If you want," She smirked "But I've got better plans, the one who loses get's jinxed and is force fed a Weasley product, but who wins also get's help on all their homework, deal?"

Ginny gave a freckled hand to him and he took it. So now the two had to smuggle Weasley Wizard Wheezes into people's things, the irritating the person, the higher the score. So now Harry so far had five things to STRESS about:

1. Hagrid

2. Detentions

3. Quidditch

4. Homework

5. And this deal.

* * *

"Who do you think is going to win?" Hermione asked apprehensively.

"That's difficult," Ron replied, looking at the two who were chatting indefatigably as they trodded out of the Great Hall.

"they both have prankster heritage" Hermione nodded in reflection.

"What's on your mind?"

"Just... stuff" Ron looked down at her queerly like she had announced she will give up reading. She never answers with vague words!

"Uh- right-"

"Ron, what would you say if Harry and Ginny went _out _with each other?"

"Wait what, as in boyfriend and girlfriend?," He frowned "Well that can't happen because she's with the git and he is getting closer to Cho"

Hermione rolled her eyes impatiently.

"No if none of that was happening" He screwed up his long freckled nose.

"Better him then Michael, they suit each other but if he-"

"I knew you would say something like that" She broke off, raising her voice slightly louder before the classic Weasley brother actions could go on about grinding Harry's insides in.

* * *

"I'll see you around!" Ginny grinned and went the opposite direction to the trio who were heading for a 'brilliant' day of potions.

"Harry!" A pretty girl with long black hair came from the the direction Ginny headed and raced up to him. Hermione gave Ron a look which clearly meant 'I think we should leave' and tugged his sleeve roughly.

"We finally get to talk!" Cho said and laughed while turning crimson all over. He laughed awkwardly with her.

"Finally no interruptions," He agreed remembering the train situation. "so uh how are you?"

"Okay I guess, and you?"

"Tired but okay" She smiled up at him. She looked at her wrist watch and dropped a few books in the process. Harry picked up her books, avoiding eye contact into her deep dark brown eyes which showed that she was still in pain from Cedric's death.

"Thanks" She blushed even more. Their heads were somehow getting closer to each other.

"I-I better be going" She stated, coming out of her trance, Harry followed out awkwardly.

"Oh right" He replied running a hand through his already messy hair awkwardly. "Well see you then"

"Oh wait, you will be late for class w-won't you?" She said while getting out a piece of parchment, writing something he couldn't see and giving it to him.

"Oh thanks for saving me," He grinned offhandedly. "bye"

* * *

"Potter why are you late?" Snape glared, his black eyes showing he couldn't wait to taunt him. All heads turned to him, the Slytherins grinning madly. He gave the large hooked nosed teacher the note Cho gave him:

_Dear Professor,_

_Harry was with me for a personal matter involving Professor Flitwick._

_Sincerely__, Cho Chang_

Snape's frown was carved deeper into his yellowish pale skin and the Slytherins glared at him. He turned on his heel and began walking to the back of the class when-

"Potter"

"Yes" He said with gritted teeth and not looking at him, his temper flaring.

"It's 'yes, Professor'" 'Whatever' he was tempted to say but remembered Angelina's warning.

"Yes Professor?" He said while his voice went a few pitches higher.

"Sit down and see me after class" He walked to the back and sat down.

"For what?" His voice turning louder, Hermione kicked his leg in warning.

"To discuss this given note"

"Which is none of your damn business!" He yelled irately. Ron's cauldron dropped and Neville almost fell out of his seat, the whole class stared at him in shock. Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance and Ron just looked at him.

'Great' he thought and sat down.

"We will discuss your punishment later"

* * *

"You really should control your temper," Hermione advised as she sat next to the tree on the hill with the two.

"I tried"

"people might start thinking you know- have _anger_ issues"

"Wait what?," Hermione look at his hands which were shaking. "I'm not normally angry" Ron snorted.

"Yeah right"

"Honestly, I just didn't sleep" He said shakily trying to be calm, rubbing his forehead with a still shaking hand.

"Yeah sure," He replied looking as unconvinced as Hermione. "he's just not fair"

"I know" He stated with a risen voice. His anger was flaring again and he snapped the quill he was using to go over notes.

Hermione glared at Ron as if saying it is his fault.

"Ouch" He yelped placing a hand to his forehead.

"Your scar?" He nodded.

"Stupid scar" He muttered under his breath...

* * *

After a long lesson of Charms, the trio were heading to the Great Hall where they saw the gang of Slytherin cronies and Filch clearing students out the hallway.

"Hey Potter I hope Snape is giving you the hard time you deserve!" The baffoons laughed. People were crowding around the spit back of the trio and the Slytherins.

"Shut up Malfoy! Your family tree is a cactus because everybody on it is a prick" Ron clapped for him in appreciation. 'Ouch' A Gryffindor said in the background.

"At least I have one!" He spat.

"At least I have friends!"

"And Weasel your ginger hair is giving even Potter a headache!," Malfoy cackled "so, do you still all sleep in the same roo-" Bats flew out of his nose and covered his sneering face rapidly.

"Swipe them off!" The Slytherins ran around and swiped the bats coming from his nose. The enemies of the snakes laughed at the scene. And the cronies soon departed.

"That's what he get's!" Ginny laughed, twirling her wand. The twins and Lee also came to them with tears of laughter in their eyes.

"I never thought you had it in you!" George said to Harry, grinning madly.

"Yeah, who knew?"

Filch came around the corner with an anxious Mrs. Norris and muttered something in a tone Harry had never heard him use before. An optimistic one. They walked to the Great Hall and saw a formally carved glass sign on the wall next to it.

_EDUCATIONAL DECREE NUMBER ONE:_

_Punished students found in possession of a spell check quill will be punished._

"I think your theory is correct Hermione," Harry said staring at the average-sized sign in disgust.

"the ministry is trying to take over Hogwarts"


End file.
